...that I'm perfect. Because I''m not. I'm not the perfect wife (although I sure try to be), or daughter, or sister, or friend. And I'm certainly not the perfect writer (although I try to be perfect at that too because writing is my lifelong passion). I learn new things about writing every day, and when people are disappointed that I didn't come up with a certain idea for my novel sooner, it makes me mad! It's like they expect me to be perfect. How can anyone expect me to be perfect when I'm not even traditionally published yet? I wouldn't even expect someone as successful as J.K. Rowling to be perfect either, but I wouldn't expect anything less than page-turner from her.

...that I'm a strong woman. My friend and I were hanging out in San Mateo last weekend when we were accosted by some bums while we were waiting for the Caltrain. These men were the most ungodly men I had ever met - they were drunk and cussing at us and coming on to us. They asked us if we did meth. Do we look like the kind of ladies who do meth? We still have all our teeth in tact! We kept telling them we were married, but they wouldn't relent. One of them touched my knee! The other guy had his zipper undone and threatened to use his pepper spray on us. Why would a man need pepper spray?! My friend and I were scared out of our wits and I was getting ready to throw some punches because I know kickboxing. Lucky for us it was still daylight and there were people around. We went back to the Melting Pot where we were having dinner and the bartenders took care of us. I swore I felt Satan's presence when we encountered those bums. When I called home crying to my mom, she wouldn't hear of it. She wouldn't let me cry. She thinks crying is only for those who are dying. How else do you express anger or hurt or fear or frustration? Do you think you could have been brave or strong in this situation? I was the first time I had ever been accosted like that. I was afraid for my life.

It's a pet peeve of mine when someone close to me assumes something of me that I'm not. Even if you think I'm a sweetie or a nice girl, I do have my bad days, so watch out. You assuming something of me indicates to me that you don't know me as well as you think you do. I do overlook important details in my writing as I'm just starting out and my strength does wear out in times of stress and fear and hurt and anger. And if I need to come crying to you, I'd appreciate a shoulder to cry on.


Leave a Reply